This is a personal post, but I feel compelled to write. 

The next month marks four years since my dad and mother-in-law's passing.  Tony and I have talked about them frequently, especially during this most joyous time in our lives.  The loss has been brought back to the forefront.

A couple of Sunday's ago, Tony and I joked that his mother would have already equipped the entire baby's room by now!  It was also during this time, when I was looking at crib bedding, that I ran across some that had World War II planes all over it, which was something my daddy loved.  Again, it made me sad that he was not here to celebrate with us.

That night, I dreamed of him, which was something I hadn't done in over 3 years.  As I conveyed to a friend of mine, it was like a brief snapshot, but he appeared in my dream, sitting in his easy chair.  What he said to me was simple..."congratulations on your new baby."  It was exactly what I needed to hear that night.

Yesterday, Tony and I finished watching the "Band of Brothers" series.  I don't know how we each missed it, when it first came out, but we did.  Again, during several aspects of this series, my thoughts turned to my dad.  He was born in 1928, so he just missed WW II.  We talked a bit about what those servicemen did/saw, and how it really helps give some clarifying perspective to the daily "stresses" of life today, which are so insignificant.

Last night, I dreamed of my dad again.  I was back in my mom and dad's house, walking down the hallway, when I looked and saw my dad in a room.  I walked in and said hello.  I asked my daddy if he really knew about our baby.  He said, "Yes.  I see him everyday."  I told him how much I loved and missed him, and he said the same to me.  Again, it was like a brief snapshot, that really didn't feel like a dream.

I said to a friend recently, that even though the loss remains, the "rawness" of it does improve over time.  As I sit here with tears running down my face, I am comforted that somehow, someway, my daddy does "know".

Judy